One Mumsnet user has revealed that she’s debating divorcing her husband after his parents bought the house next door, worried that her “judgmental” in-laws will ruin the bliss of the family’s forever home.
On Saturday, user Lotsofluv took to the U.K. parenting forum site to voice her woes about her new neighbors, in a post that has since sparked over 500 comments. Airing her grievances, the mother of three got candid and asked commenters if it’s irrational to fret about the future.
“When the house came up for sale next to us, my husband’s parents showed interest, it needed renovation so I never thought them buying the house would happen,” Lotsofluv began, describing her MIL as “very fussy.”
“Anyway, they did buy it and have builders in there doing the renovations while they still live in their current house. Once or twice a week they drive down (over an hour’s drive) to have a look at what’s been done,” she explained, asking if it was irrational to feel frustrated with the situation at hand.
“It’s just it disrupts my day as they expect us to go and say hello/make them a cup of tea, want to use our toilet, etc. I know it’s not a massive deal but when I’m having a lazy day, no makeup, lounge wear on,” LotsofLuv continued. “I just don’t want to entertain unannounced people.”’
Moving forward, the Mumsnet user said she’s truly “dreading” their eventual move next door and impending intrusion into her family’s daily life.
“I’m dreading being out in the garden and them wanting a chat over the fence every time I’m out there. I like my own space and feel they are going to invade it,” Lotsofluv worried. “It’s making me want to split with my husband who I have a great relationship with, it’s making me resent him.
“Am I being unreasonable or would you feel the same?”
In the comments, Lotsofluv clarified that she wasn’t asked about how she felt about the real estate purchase before her in-laws bought it and didn’t think they would even go through with it, as the property itself is in “poor condition.”
As for her larger relationship with her spouse’s parents, LotsofLuv confessed that while she gets along with them, she’s never felt “completely comfortable” in their presence as they’re “quite judgmental” of others, from how clean people keep their houses to what clothes her children are wearing.
On the home front, the Mumsnet user said her husband isn’t at all worried about his parent’s big move, arguing that they won’t be around much in the first place.
His wife, meanwhile, remains quite skeptical.
“Just for example, they don’t drink but I have a red wine most nights and if it’s nice weather I’ll sit in the garden,” Lotsofluv shared. “Now I’m going to be thinking they can see me out of their window drinking my wine in the garden, judging me and I’m not going to feel comfortable in my own garden.”
According to the user, she, her husband and their three kids have lived in their current house for three years, saying the space “was supposed to be our forever home” and all has been well – until this.
From there, opinionated Mumnset commenters shared tips and advice that ranged from the somber to the silly regarding the next best steps for the anxious author and her housing dilemma. Critics urged her to “run for the hills,” or, alternatively, “move out before they move in.”
“Quite honestly, I couldn’t cope. It would kill me, and probably my marriage too,” one user declared.
“They must be a bit weird to think this could work,” another shared. “I would not want to live next door to my family as much as I love them. Same town– yes, next road – yes, next door — no way!”
“Oh jeez. Time to start house hunting,” one agreed.
Playfully, one user said the woman should avoid her in-laws by using the guise of COVID-19 concerns.
“I’d also tell your in-laws that due to social distancing they can’t come in and use your toilet. Then I would make sure I was out exercising when they visited,” they offered.
“Lots of bamboo for screening, disconnect the doorbell and under no circumstances give them a key,” another shared.
In a fresh perspective, two users said they wouldn’t want their grown children and their partners to live next door, either!
“My ‘in-laws’ bought the house next door to us also. My daughter-in-law and son, that is,” one mother revealed.
“Dear Lord I would hate it if any of my grown up children moved in next door!” another exclaimed. “If you don’t want to split up, maybe put up some higher fences and see how you go?”
“Your [husband] may be right and they won’t be around too much. If they are – well, that’s the time to consider your next step.”