A groom-to-be recently explained on Reddit that he and his fiancee have a very strict white tie dress code for their September wedding.
“We have been clear from the very start that the dress code will be fully enforced,” Reddit user weddingexcite posted on the platform’s “Am I the A–h—” forum earlier this week.
“The invitations we sent explicitly told our guests what we’d be expecting from them (white tie, no unnaturally dyed hair, no visible tattoos or piercings) and that they were free to decline the invitation if they had a problem with this,” the user added.
The reason for the strict dress code, he said, was because of the wedding photos.
“One thing we are really looking forward to is our wedding shoot,” he wrote. “We have spent a large amount of our own money on a photographer, who we hired after weeks of research and shopping recommendations. The photographer is highly, highly sought after in our area and we were lucky to book him last year in advance. So naturally we are taking this seriously.”
However, many of the guests — including their parents and friends — are asking for more flexibility, including one guest who asked to bring flats to wear after the ceremony, Redditor said.
So far, he and his fiancee haven’t budged, he wrote.
“In our opinion, while wearing knee-length dresses and suits (rather than a tux) might be appropriate for ‘day to day life,’ they will doubtlessly look out of place at a wedding that is supposed to be fully formal,” weddingexcite wrote. “We are hosting a private event where we are able to set the rules. Having been to other weddings over the years, we have fully complied with the wishes of the marrying couple and we do not see why we should not be given the same treatment.”
He added that they’ve even told people that if guests don’t want to comply, “they are free to drop out (even though we will still be paying for their seats now) and not attend.”
Many commenters agreed the couple can do whatever they want, but it may lead to a smaller guest list — and it may not be as fun.
“It is your wedding and you can do what you want, but it’s a wedding, not a photoshoot or a play,” one person commented. “The stuff about piercings, tattoos, and hair color is especially ridiculous. If all you care about is nice pictures, then hire models. That way they’ll look exactly how you want them to look and they won’t complain. If you want an actual party with real people, you need flexibility.”
Someone else wrote: “I have been to weddings where you can tell they’re having the wedding to try and get the most gorgeous wedding album, and it makes for a very un-fun wedding. It’s like these couples are only looking forward to their photographed memories of the event, rather than the event itself.”
Several commenters also responded directly to the ban on flat shoes, which one commenter called ridiculous because “there could be older ladies or people who would need to wear flats for medical reasons.”